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Monday, May 2, 2011

The grass is always greener...

I've been struggling the last couple days with feeling as if Aaron is my only friend... don't get me wrong - the guy is AWESOME and I'm more than happy to have him around!  But, being away from America for over 2 years now and the horrible time difference between Asia and home has put a strain on many of the friendships that I've held most dear...  I know people are busy and time passes quickly, but I hate feeling disconnected and forgotten.  

My 30th birthday is in 2 weeks and it feels weird to think about such a momentous birthday being celebrated without friends around.  Aaron really wanted to throw me a big birthday bash, with my favorite COSTCO sheet cake (My 1 request) but the few good friends I have here either didn't respond to his invite or were busy with other plans.  I can't just eat a whole COSTCO cake on my own?  Or could I?! haha)  It just sucks to be quite honest.  I love living here and experiencing a new culture, traveling all the time, saving money, and loving my job... but is that really enough?  I'm starting to realize that maybe it isn't.  But then that leaves me with the questions of "How do I change that?"  

I'm not really too sure to be quite honest.  I guess I just wish things were different and I wasn't out of sight, out of mind living her in Asia.  I'm not begging for affirmation or for anyone to tell me I'm not forgotten because I wrote this.  I just think it feels good sometimes to say how you feel... and right now, this is how I'm feeling.